All 21 Stories of the Massive ROGUES anthology, Ranked
Welcome to the first “Long View Review,” where I tackle a large body of work using the most reliable of information delivery formats: the listicle.
Our first Long View Review focuses on Rogues, an anthology curated by George R. R. Martin (you know, the A Game of Thrones guy), and Gardner Dozois (the less known but still quite renowned king of editing anthologies). This collection is over ten years old and includes some huge names, yet nobody’s given a guide to the anthology. Enter me: I read the whole thing so you can skip to the bits you’ll like! Also, this might be the best way to spend an audible credit, ever. More on that later
What went into this anthology?
A bunch of popular writers submitted based on GRRMartin’s prompt to write about, well, rogues. The final result feels like peeking into the final exam for the world’s most exclusive writing class
Audiobook Notes
World-class performances from a star studded cast (including some heavy-hitters from the Game of Thrones TV show), immaculate direction and editing. Not only is it one of the highest-quality audio productions I’ve ever heard, but it’s over 18 hours long. That’s a great use of an Audible credit!
Worth It?
Oh heck yes. It’s a great way to find beloved authors who might have never been on your radar for whatever reason. Personally, it permanently altered my reading trajectory for the last decade. Many of the authors I didn’t know until this anthology have become my favorites.
It’s my comfort listen, so I’ve managed to digest this massive collection an embarrassing amount of times since its release in 2014. When I first cracked it open, I would have loved a ranked list like this. After all, not everyone has time to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Sci-Fi. A strange, unpredictable and laugh-out-loud funny adventure in which three con artists take on the criminal elite in an alternate-universe New Orleans. The reader is absolutely incredible and makes the imaginative and snappy prose sing.
2. “A Year and a Day in Old Theradan” by Scott Lynch
High Fantasy. Nearly tied for first place in my book. Like the above, it’s funny and imaginative with a great cast of characters. After a drunken “oopsie,” a legendary rogue is pressured into attempting a truly bizarre heist with deadly stakes. One of a few stories read by GoT alum Gwendoline Christie, who needs to be taken off whatever critically acclaimed project she’s on and forced to narrate more books.
3. “How the Marquis Got His Coat Back” by Neil Gaiman
Urban Fantasy. It’s a Neil Gaiman story, published before his fall from grace. That’s probably enough said. As always, the story manages to be outlandish yet accessible, creepy yet light-hearted. After learning this is an adventure from his Neverwhere stories, I found the 90s miniseries and quickly adopted it as one of my comfort watches. All I have to say is, I wish the Marquis’ silly french accent had been canon at the time.
Supernatural. This story is so damn brilliant I want everyone to listen to it all the time. When two ecology students die under mysterious circumstances, a monster hunter is brought in to investigate. The setting is great—a mining town recovering from ecological disaster but still struggling to find its identity in a modern, eco-conscious world.
High Fantasy. The shortest story in the line-up. A masterclass in fun, efficient world-building, characterization and snappy dialogue. Saving the world from a cursed treasure is just another day (well, night) on the job for a young knight and his companion, an ancient sorcerer who also happens to be a nonbinary, paper-mache puppet. Mind-blowing fun fact for the audiobook listeners: this is the same reader as “Tawny Petticoats.”
Mystery. There’s no denying it’s to fun to follow the antics of a (fictional) narcissistic scumbag. A struggling actor might just lose his life—or worse, his chances of reviving his career—if he doesn’t get to the bottom of a mysterious murder on the set of a Hollywood blockbuster. A hilarious skewering of showbiz schmuckery.
High Fantasy. In a city-state where crime is legal, our clever hero applies all his wit and wiles to saving the life of the prince he loves—and the enslaved woman who has stolen the prince’s heart. The setting and characters drive this one up high on the list. The writing stands out among the rest as spectacularly good, which is saying a lot considering the superstars in the list of contributors.
8. “The Caravan to Nowhere” by Phyllis Eisenstein
Fantasy-Lite. A magical bard joins a caravan of traders as they cross a treacherous desert. The teleporting hero is the only fantastical element to the story, which is a fascinating exploration of the dysfunction between a father and a son. I lived at the edge of the Arabian desert for years and Eisenstein’s vivid homage to its splendor (and horror) is reverent and accurate.
9. “Provenance” by David W. Ball
Historical Drama. By the end of this tightly written novella, you’ll feel like you’ve finished and epic novel. A famous Caravaggio masterpiece falls into the hands of a gray-market art dealer. As he secures a buyer, we learn of the painting’s long, dark history. Fun fact: I saw many pieces by the artist, including versions of this painting, in a museum in Vienna—they are as mesmerizing as described. Small warning: One of the shady figures wrapped up in this story is a Nazi war criminal and his brutal acts of violence keep me from re-listening to the story unless I’m in the right mood.
High Fantasy. The longest story in the collection, this tale invites us to explore and savor the beautiful minutae of a seemingly average summer day. Rothfuss is renowned for his lush prose and this novella, short by his standards, is a great way to enjoy it.
11. “The Curious Affair of the Dead Wives” by Lisa Tuttle
Historical Mystery. A young woman, assumed dead and buried, might actually be alive and missing. An intriguing, Sherlock Holmes-esque adventure I find especially notable because it illustrates that “Girl Dinner” is a time-honored and respectable tradition.
High Fantasy. This is the basis for the House of the Dragon book and TV series. A history of the scintillating, scandalous life of Prince Daemon Targaryen. Lots of sex and death disguised as a dry historical document.
High Fantasy. A rollicking start to the collection. It makes sense that this is the first story in the line-up, even if it didn’t make number one in my personal list. Nearly every criminal in a shady city seems to want the same, mysterious package. The point-of-view shifts in an entertaining way as the package changes hands again and again—often against the wishes of the previous holder.
14. “The Inn of the Seven Blessings” by Matt Hughes
High Fantasy. A common thief runs into uncommon trouble when he accidentally becomes the puppet of a forgotten god. A solid adventure with twists, turns, and the looming threat of becoming dinner for a bunch of mutant cannibals.
15. “Roaring Twenties” by Carrie Vaughn
Historical Fantasy. I was originally put-off by the narrator but warmed to her vocal choices after a while. You’ve got a speakeasy, you’ve got witches in flapper dresses, you’ve got an impending FBI raid. Can’t really go wrong with that combo.
16. “Ill Seen in Tyre” by Steven Saylor
Historical. An aging poet revisits his home town to reclaim his youth and ends up on a wild bender as he chases a long-held dream of possessing what may be the only genuine magical document that has ever existed. The narrator is his 19-year-old apprentice and student, which provides an entertainingly youthful perspective.
Science Fiction. Here begins the list of stories that I often skip over. I’m a huge fan of Connie Willis. Her name is the reason I bought this anthology. Sadly, this story is a mess. There are some funny jabs at mind-numbing Hollywood franchises and, nestled somewhere in the misguided characterization of “futuristic” college students, a fun-enough little mystery.
18. “A Better Way to Die” by Paul Cornell
Science Fiction. Sometimes I put this on when I need to be bored to sleep. I love sci-fi and parallel universes, but the story, which combines high society gossip with interstellar intrigue, suffers from long exposition and oh-so-dry commentary from its world-weary protagonist. An interesting concept, but my attention just slides off of the story itself unless I try very hard. Cornell has won a Hugo in basically every medium he’s worked in and boasts impressive TV credits (including two of my favorite Doctor Who episodes), but this isn’t, in my opinion, the best representation of his work.
Mystery. The somewhat infamous Gillian Flynn story with the… ahem… handjob lady. If you’re already squirming, you’ll probably find the rest of this darkly comedic mystery hard to stomach. This was published at the peak of her popularity but maybe portends a downturn in her appeal.
20. “Bad Brass” by Bradley Denton
Action Comedy. I have a strong bias towards fantasy stories, so the “realistic” pieces like this one are probably unfairly pushed to the bottom. “Bad Brass” is a two-part story. Part one: a generic grumpy old antihero steals stolen money from some high school students. Part two: the same boring guy discovers that there was another secret larcenous high school student scheme within the scheme. I forgot the exact twist but I’m probably never going to listen to the story again.
21. “Bent Twig” Joe R. Lansdale
Action Comedy(?). It took me many false starts before I actually listened to this whole story. Personally, I wasn’t hooked and really didn’t know if I wanted to hear what the white, male, Texan writer had to say about black men or female sex workers. The rescue mission turns out to have some strong comedic moments, though I’m still not sure I care for the writer’s style. Can’t deny the brilliance of the title, though.
THIS ONE IS WORTH IT
Anthologies are strange beasts. They ask a lot of readers—patience, curiosity, a willingness to forgive a few duds in exchange for discovery—but when they work, they can permanently reshape your reading life. Rogues did exactly that for me. If this Long View Review helped you find your next favorite author (or gave you permission to skip ahead without guilt), then it’s done its job. More Long Views to come.
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